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Earlier this month, I discovered a family of mice living in my stove. The pups were so young, they hadn’t even opened their eyes yet! Two of them were hungry enough to blindly make their way from the back of the stove to the kitchen floor, where my dog, Tica, called my attention to them immediately. The fact that they made their way out to search for their mom or for food was enough to convince me that their mother had been gone for some time and was not coming back.
I had heard little squeaky noises off and on, but because I brought 4 brand new baby chicks home the day before, I assumed it was them making the sweet little noises. It wasn’t until the pinkies presented themselves in plain sight that I believed what I was hearing. While I didn’t want a family of mice living in my home, I certainly didn’t want them dying there either. I decided I was going to have to be their surrogate. (Well, to be honest, it’s not much of a decision for me.
There’s no question what to do in these cases. You just do what you can to save their lives, even if you have no idea how to be a mouse mama/bunny mama/bird mama–or whatever shows up at my door that day.) I snugged them into a soft washcloth and set them in a box next to the chicks, where they would be safe from the dog and cats. I headed out to the store for some Kitten Meal Replacement and an eye dropper.
As an animal communicator, I knew it was no accident that these pups had found their way to me and my heart. The question was, why? As I sat with them for a few minutes before taking them out to be buried, I heard more squeaking from behind the stove!
This next baby was not as easy to find. I had to pull off stove panels as I tracked the squeaking sounds. At last! Tica pointed her out and I was able to reach her. I had the KMR all ready to go so I began feedings every couple of hours. Each time I held her my heart fell more in love with her sweet and innocent little soul. I’m not sure if she was drinking as much milk as she was bathing in, but she was reaching for the eye dropper and wrapping her tiny little fingers around it and trying to suck in the milk. I was in complete and utter amazement as I watched this teeny tiny baby try to suckle for nourishment. So much life and pure love in a body smaller than my thumb!
First poops!
Being only a few days old, she didn’t even know how to poop yet, so I gently massaged her low belly with a moist cotton swab after each feeding until her body finally released its itty bitty droplet of poop. Yay! I did something right! Little Jackie and I woke every couple of hours all night long for feeding, pooping and a sponge bath to get the excess milk off her body. She was doing so great and I was thrilled she made it through the night and appeared to be doing good. But, it was not meant to be. I had probably gotten milk into her lungs attempting to feed her and drowned her. Sigh…Jackie passed away late that next morning and was buried with her two other siblings, Petunia and Magic. My heart was again feeling responsible and overwhelmed with sorrow.
A short while later, while connecting in with the spirits of Magic, Petunia, and Jackie, I heard yet another squeaking coming from the stove. This little gal was even more challenging to find than the others, but the stove was easier to pull apart the second time. I don’t know how, but Gretchen seemed stronger and more resilient than the other two, and she had been alone a full 36 hours longer. Part of me couldn’t help thinking she’d be better off on her own than if I tried stepping in, but I knew that was my false self voice talking.
If it’s one thing I know, my False Self voice lies.
A lot.
All the time.
Always.
My False Self never tells the truth about anything, so I chose not to listen to her and started feeding Gretchen.
“Why did you guys choose to come into my life? What are you trying to teach me?” The download started.
A bigger part of me finds it easier to keep people at a safe distance. You can come in this far, but you must stop here. {*draws line in the sand*} I’ll let you in, but only into that place just outside of my heart because if I let you in, something will happen to you and I can’t go through that again.
I won’t go through that again. My heart CAN’T survive that again.