On the first morning of my recent Costa Rican Eponicity experience at Leaves and Lizards Resort, I got up before breakfast to spend time at the resort’s farm. I heard the cries of the motherless kittens on a previous walk and wanted to check on them. I was also excited about milking the cows and interacting with the hens while gathered eggs. I’ve never milked a cow before and assumed it would take some practice, but was eager to give it a try.

What I didn’t anticipate—but should have guessed—was that there was going to be a soul level lesson during this time with Bella, one of the two resident cows I met during my stay.

Surprisingly, I got the hang of milking pretty quickly. I admit, at first, there was some random squirting of milk on my feet and legs, but most of the milk got in the bucket. LOL. I got into a rhythm and everything else fell away. It was just me and Bella…and lots of milk! As I watched the bucket fill with warm, frothy milk, I thought about how that milk would be used in my coffee or ice cream later this week. I was feeling warm and fuzzy about my small achievement so early in the day.

Then something happened. I let myself get distracted with someone taking pictures. Oops! Milk on my shoes. I started wondering if I was hurting Bella, who is 5 months pregnant (FYI: if you are also wondering, she says it doesn’t hurt). Shoot, spilled milk on the ground.  I questioned what our schedule is for later in the day. Darn it! Squirted the farmhand. Sorry, Milton. I notice my frustration creeping in about my sudden loss in ability to know how to squeeze. You guessed it: more spilled milk.

Leaving the barn, on my way to breakfast, I connected in with Bella to ask her about this. “What shifted that made milking more difficult?”, I inquired. What I heard from Bella was that I need to look at how this relates to other things I do in my life: When do I cry over spilled milk? Am I being present in the moment at those times? Am I rehashing an old story about how I’m not good enough or how I’m an idiot for making a mistake? Am I in my heart or in my head?

BINGO! That’s it! I went from being in my heart to being in my head. When I was in my heart and thinking of the abundance Bella was providing for us and how much fun I was having, the milking was rhythmic and flowing freely. The more I was in my head, the harder it was. Every time I allowed myself to become distracted with something other than being in the moment, I lost my rhythm…and my milk. The more it happened, the harder I was on myself because I couldn’t figure out why I would be doing great and then suddenly be incapable of doing anything other than shining my shoes with fresh cream.

I do that to myself. A lot. I float off in my head somewhere, distracting myself with my own thoughts, and lose focus on what I’m doing. Then I judge myself harshly when my task doesn’t come out exactly as I expected it should. When my focus shifts away from the joy of what I’m doing (being in my heart), I lose the emotional connection that comes with being fully present in whatever work or play I am in. We all do this. The key is to not pass judgment on yourself or the situation and end up in your head space. Ok, so you spilled a little milk. So what? Keep milking; it was fun! Your latest presentation wasn’t perfect. Big whoop. You just did a presentation!!!

When you catch yourself in self-criticism and judgment, take a moment to recognize where your focus is. Do you feel it in your head or your heart? Opinion and judgment cannot exist in your heart. You cannot be in a place of creation, abundance and love when you are in your head. These precious things only exist in your heart. By the way, don’t judge that you were judgy; it keeps you in your head space. Take a moment to register how it feels for you and if that’s a feeling you want to continue or release. Either way, send it love and congratulate yourself! You’ve moved back into your heart space!